I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
