u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
