The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
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well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
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Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
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