does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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