Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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