I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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