Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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