That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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