He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
