Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
