This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
