Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
