they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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