My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
