I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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