come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
