Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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