naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COCAINE IS GR8
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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