i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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