meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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