I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
