just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
