butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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