you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
