We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize