Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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