Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
