He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize