I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
