Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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