what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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