I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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