I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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