would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
