Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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