so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
