ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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