This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
