maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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