Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
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yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
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Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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