Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
my sisters under your porch take her home
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
