Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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