i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
