It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
