You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
