I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
