She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
There r osticjed everywhere
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
