just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
