He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
