shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
