I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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