is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I believe in your delicious
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
