i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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