I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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