ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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