ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Church boner. Awkwardddd
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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