"it" just moved
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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