yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
