Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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