just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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