I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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