i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
In other news, I just burned my penis
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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