She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
