i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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