Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
